The Northern Frights Page 4
Could you enjoy your weekend, knowing Monday could be your last day on Earth?
8
The Unfortunate Six
Over the weekend, every student at Scary School spent quality time with their families. Charles went to the zoo with his parents. Peter the Wolf howled at the moon with his father. Penny enjoyed a delicious hot-pepper casserole with Mr. and Mrs. Possum.
Then Monday morning, instead of going to class, all the students gathered on the front lawn for the announcement. Their backpacks were stuffed with clothes because the chosen ones would be departing immediately.
Meltington stood on the front steps of Scary School next to Principal Headcrusher. Because Meltington was present, there was also a freezing blizzard enveloping a thousand-foot radius. The students were well prepared and wore thick jackets, ten layers of clothes, and toasty thermal underwear.
Hey, I just realized how much I miss toasty thermal underwear. You kids with bodies are so lucky.
“Good morning,” spoke Principal Meltington in his deep, thunderous voice. “I will now announce which six students will be attending Scream Academy for the week. While many of you human students have proven yourselves worthy, the six I have chosen are the ones I believe stand the best chance of survival.”
Almost every student crossed their fingers and prayed they were not worthy.
“I would like to point out that nobody expects you to survive, so don’t feel bad if you don’t. Principal Headcrusher is the only human student who has ever made it out alive, but of course she has a rather monstrous pair of hands, which none of you seem to have. Shame. I was hoping that was a more common trait among you humans. But if you don’t make it out alive, we promise to put up a plaque in your honor in the Scream Academy Museum of Lost Souls. Sound good?”
It sounded terrible.
“All right, then. Let’s get this party started. The first student I have chosen is one who showed outstanding creative thinking and remarkable skill with a chainsaw. Jason Borzees!”
Jason stepped onto the platform, wearing his ever-present hockey mask and lumberjack outfit. Principal Meltington handed him an official certificate of acceptance into Scream Academy. He buzzed his chainsaw over his head, declaring, “I am honored to represent the school. If I don’t make it back, I want my best friend, Fred, to take my place as goalie on the Scary School hockey team. Win the championship in my memory!”
The students cheered their hearts out.
“Funny you should mention Fred,” said Principal Meltington, cutting off the cheers. “Because he showed he could remain cool and calm under the most icy of circumstances, my second choice is Fred Kroger!”
“Never mind!” said Jason. “Forfeit the hockey season in memory of Fred and me.”
The students groaned.
Petunia was standing next to her best friend, Frank. They were squeezing each other’s hands so tightly it was hurting, but they couldn’t stop. Petunia may not have spoken very often to Jason and Fred, but they had saved her life more times than she could count.
“The third student making the trip is a girl who summoned me in order to save the lives of everyone in her class. She showed that sometimes the most courageous thing you can do is to know when to ask for help. Please join us . . . Petunia Petals!”
By the way, I know that’s the first time you’ve heard Petunia’s last name. She thinks it’s silly and asked me not to put it in these books, but it was unavoidable in this circumstance. Sorry, Petunia. For the record, I really like your name.
Petunia actually smiled when she heard her name. She realized it wasn’t because she wanted to go to Scream Academy, or because she would be joining Jason and Fred. It was because she didn’t think she was even in the running since she’s half flower and half girl, and considered a scary kid. The fact that she was human enough to be chosen for the trip made her feel less strange than she’d ever felt. She stood on the platform and was actually shedding purple tears of joy.
“My fourth choice is the one who got the highest score on the monster pop quiz.”
Charles Nukid froze in fear. He wished someone were there he could hold on to, but he was alone. Penny was standing with her class. His new friend, Lattie, was nowhere in sight. However, since she’s a ninja, that was the surest sign that she was somewhere near.
“The student who got the highest score on the quiz is . . . Wendy Crumkin!”
Charles breathed a sigh of relief. He was feeling two things at once: upset that someone had beaten him in his favorite subject, but glad that he hadn’t been chosen.
Wendy Crumkin stepped onto the platform and bravely took her place with the other students. Standing tall, she pulled her red hair back in a ponytail, pushed up her big round glasses that rested atop her freckly nose, and smiled broadly. Of all the students, she was the only one actually excited about being chosen. If I survive, imagine how good it will look on my college applications, she was thinking.
“I have chosen the fifth student mainly because he’s so skinny that he won’t look very appetizing to the hungry monster students. Charles Nukid!”
Charles couldn’t move. Dr. Dragonbreath had to lift Charles in his talons and fly him onto the platform.
“Thank you, Dr. Dragonbreath,” said Charles.
“You can repay me by surviving,” Dr. Dragonbreath replied. “I’ve been waiting for you to break a rule so I can gobble you up and turn you into a dragon. I’d hate to miss my chance should you perish.”
Out of nowhere, a snowball hit Charles Nukid right in the face. The crowd erupted in laughter. Wiping the snow from his eyes, Charles saw the troll Lebok high-fiving Padlox in the front row. “Good luck, Toothpick! You need it! Har-har!”
“Lastly,” announced Principal Meltington, “is a student I nearly missed because she can be quite hard to spot if you’re not paying close attention. A student who can remain nearly invisible is one who can do very well at Scream Academy. Please give a big cheer for the final student . . . Penny Possum!”
I know. I was thinking it was going to be Lattie too.
Penny Possum was not expecting her name to be called. All week she had purposefully avoided being noticed by Principal Meltington. Whenever she even sensed a cool breeze, she fell over and played dead.
Penny stepped onto the platform. She did not want to go Scream Academy one bit. Especially since Charles was going.
The only way out of it would be to play dead, and it would have to be the performance of a lifetime.
She clutched her chest like she was having a heart attack, then stumbled about the stage until she fell backward, stiffening her body into perfect rigor mortis, not moving a muscle or blinking an eyelid.
Apparently her performance was a little too dramatic because the entire school and Principal Meltington burst into applause.
“Bravo!” said Principal Meltington. “But you’ll have to put on a more convincing performance in front of the monsters at Scream Academy. You’ll have to join the others, unless someone worthy volunteers to go in your place.”
“I volunteer!” a voice from the crowd exclaimed.
Lattie stealthily appeared next to Meltington as if she had been there the entire time.
“I’m sorry,” Principal Meltington said. “But you have not proven yourself worthy in my time here. I’m afraid you may not—”
In a flash, Lattie pulled out her ninja blade and chopped the snowman’s carrot nose in half. A portion flew into the air, and Lattie diced it into a dozen tiny pieces before skewering each one on a ninja sai. I’ve asked the illustrator to draw you a picture of a sai in case you don’t know what it looks like. Pretty cool, right?
Lattie warned, “A man who has committed a mistake and doesn’t correct it is committing another mistake.”
“Well,” said Meltington. “I’m convinced.”
Penny sprang back to life and ducked into the crowd. Lattie took her place next to Charles Nukid. She was a chilling sight in her black ninja suit.
In addition to their backpacks, each of the six got to choose one special item to take with them. Jason had a hard time choosing between his chainsaw and his favorite hockey stick, but he chose his hockey stick because the games in the Arctic Circle were sure to be legendary. Fred took the silver hammer, which Principal Meltington had allowed him to keep. Wendy Crumkin brought her Monster Math calculator. Petunia brought a copy of the first Scary School book to give as a present to the Scream Academy library. That way the monster kids could read it and learn about Scary School whenever they wanted.
Wasn’t that thoughtful of her? Petunia is so cool.
Charles Nukid’s item of choice was the present given to him by Princess Zogette—the Guitar Legend guitar signed by all the monsters of rock. Guitar Legend was the one thing Charles was really good at besides following rules, so he figured it might come in handy if he needed to impress an angry monster.
Lattie had a tough choice, but in the end she decided to leave all her ninja weapons and take Millie, her pet millipede.
Once everything was packed up, Principal Meltington proclaimed, “I’m going to get myself a new nose from the kitchen and will be meeting all six of you at Scream Academy in a few hours.”
“Wait,” said Petunia. “How are we getting there?”
Meltington smiled. “My dear purple girl. There’s only one way to get to Scream Academy.”
Suddenly, there was a loud roar from behind the unfortunate six. When they turned around and saw what was there, six earsplitting screams filled the air.
9
Into the Wolf’s Mouth
At first, Charles Nukid feared that the creature standing before him was his dreaded mortal enemy—the bearodactyl. But on closer inspection, Charles realized this wasn’t a bearodactyl but a beast even more unique and astonishing.
It was a polter-bear. Part polar bear. Part poltergeist.
In case you aren’t familiar with poltergeists, they are a rare type of ghost that can have a physical impact in our world. When you’re a regular ghost, like me, everything passes straight through you. I can’t pick up a pencil or sit in a chair. But poltergeists like to scare the living by moving chairs, opening windows, or turning lights on and off. Usually they do it just for a laugh.
The polter-bears were a magnificent sight to behold. Each one looked like a polar bear, but they were way bigger. The size of a van! They were also translucent, as if they were halfway between here and not here. Sort of like a staticky TV program.
There were three polter-bears in total, and on top of each bear, a different kind of monster was sitting on a saddle.
“These three monsters were chosen from Scream Academy to spend the week at Scary School,” said Principal Meltington. “There will be time for introductions later, but now, the six must be off to make it to their first class on time!”
Each monster hopped off the polter-bear and shook hands with the unfortunate six.
“Go ahead,” urged Principal Meltington. “Say hello to your bear.”
Normally, approaching any kind of bear is a very bad idea, but since polter-bears are no longer alive, they don’t get hungry, so it’s fairly safe.
The monsters hoisted the six onto their saddles— two kids to a bear.
Principal Headcrusher gently shook her students’ hands with her thumb and index finger, taking care not to break any bones. “Good luck,” she said to each of them. “And remember, no matter how dark the day becomes, your friends at Scary School are always with you.”
The students of Scary School waved good-bye to the chosen six. Many were crying, thinking they would probably never be heard from again. The six waved bye back to their friends and put on brave faces, basking in the crowd’s cheers. Charles searched for Penny, but before he could find her, Principal Headcrusher exclaimed, “Hee-ya!” and the polterbears leaped off the platform. Everyone screamed because it looked like the polter-bears were going to crash into the crowd, but instead, there was a flash of light, and the bears were suddenly running up Scary Mountain.
Of course, thought Charles Nukid. Poltergeists can travel through ghost-portals! Each time a bear leaped into the air, a portal of light opened up and transported them to the next portal, like passing through one door and exiting through another door miles away.
The polter-bears lumbered up the peak, where the All-Knowing Monkey of Scary Mountain was hanging by its tail on a palm tree frond, enjoying a delicious coconut breakfast. The monkey dropped his coconut on the ground and shrieked when he saw the polter-bears galloping toward him, but then there was another flash of light, and the polter-bears were huffing across a vast open plain. They were running right next to a herd of buffalo. The buffalo got spooked and stampeded off in a different direction.
As the riders continued traveling north toward the Arctic Circle, Charles finally felt at ease enough to turn around and ask Lattie, “Why did you take Penny’s place?”
Lattie answered, “Good fortune comes from selflessness. Misfortune comes from selfishness.”
“What does that mean?” Charles shouted back over a gust of wind from the icy tundra they were now traversing.
Lattie sighed. “I suppose . . . I don’t want you to get eaten.”
“Oh,” said Charles, a bit stunned. “That’s the nicest thing anyone has said to me.”
The weather suddenly became numbingly cold. They had arrived at the Arctic Circle.
In the distance, three tall mountains stood in a triangle formation. Those mountains are famously known as the Three Angry Sisters. The angry sisters can be very cruel to those who attempt to scale their peaks.
The polter-bears came to an abrupt halt on a snowy terrace, then they vanished into thin air. The students fell onto the snow. Petunia noticed that all the bugs usually buzzing around her hair were gone. Bees must not like the lack of flowers in the Arctic Circle, she guessed. Jason and Fred were sad because they liked Petunia’s bugs. Being friends with Petunia was like a two-for-one special. Petunia plus bugs! Every boy’s dream come true.
Before them stood the four towers of Scream Academy, each composed of ice and brightly colored crystals. There was a blue tower, a pink tower, a red tower, and a green tower. The colors were meant to mirror the famous northern lights that lit the Arctic skies on many winter nights.
Ice bridges and tunnels connected each tower to caves in the mountains. Winged creatures carrying books and backpacks flew between the towers and entered the various rooms through open windows. It was a vision few humans had ever witnessed.
But the most incredible sight was the main entrance, which was an ice sculpture the size of the entire Scary School main building carved into the shape of an arctic wolf head. To enter Scream Academy, you had to walk straight into its mouth.
There’s a famous Italian saying: in bocca al lupo, which means “into the wolf’s mouth.” The Italians say it to wish someone good luck. Kind of like how we say “break a leg.” The meaning of the entrance was very clear. You are entering the wolf’s mouth. Good luck.
Principal Meltington led the six kids into the front entrance of Scream Academy. The enormous wolf mouth came to life and snarled at them when they got close, but then Meltington threw it a meaty bone the size of a log. The mouth chomped on the treat, and its demeanor changed entirely. It licked its chops with a big icy tongue, then the tongue unfurled onto the ground so the kids could climb it and enter the main hall.
The hall was inside a dome the size of a stadium. The walls, which arched to form the ceiling, were covered with lockers. Walking creatures had lockers at ground level, while winged creatures were using lockers high above. The top of the dome must have been at least five hundred feet high. That’s even taller than the Great Pyramids of Egypt! (I learned that listening in on King Khufu’s class.)
In the middle of the room was a hundred-foot-tall st
atue of a fearsome-looking monster. It had the body of a gorilla, the legs of a raptor, and the tusked head of a wild boar. The body was covered in shining armor, but instead of holding up a sword, his right gorilla hand held up a scroll and his left hand grasped a feather quill. Instead of wearing a helmet, he sported a professor’s cap.
“Who is that?” asked Charles.
“That is our beloved founder of Scream Academy, Garzok Grubshanks.”
Charles walked by the statue. Garzok’s name was chiseled into the stone pedestal. Underneath, a date was inscribed: JANUARY 1313—the year Scream Academy opened. Below that was Garzok’s most famous quote: “Fear is the net that ensnares the mind.”
That quote is pretty good, but Garzok has lots of good ones. My personal favorite is his advice to students trying to survive Scream Academy: “Be judicious or be delicious.” Words to live by.
As the Scary School kids continued the tour, they were overwhelmed by all the monsters that filled the room. On the ground were legions of troll kids. At Scary School there were only a few, but here they were one of the most common creatures. They had gray rhinolike skin with knobby heads, and they lumbered through the hall to their lockers, knocking smaller monsters out of the way. Rustling between them were the ogre kids with green skin. They would normally look pretty scary, but they appeared wimpy next to the big troll kids. The ogres are known to be very feisty, to make up for being smaller.
All seemed peaceful, but everything changed when one of the trolls stepped on an ogre’s foot. Enraged, the ogre challenged the troll to a duel. They each walked back ten paces, faced each other, then charged. They clonked heads with a thunk, sounding like a home run baseball echoing through the chamber. Stumbling around dizzily, each tried to keep their balance, for whoever fell first would be the loser.